Le coin des blagues

  • Auteur de la discussion mister seb
  • Date de début
Orang Malang

Orang Malang

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Le coin des blagues ... quoique, c'est les US, donc ....

 
mahu

mahu

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Yiyuan

Yiyuan

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Que ce soit en couple ou avec vos copains de travail, le savoir parler diplomatiquement,
avec tact, est primordial.

Petits conseils...

On ne dira pas : Merde, voila l'autre con!
Mais : J'te fais pas la bise, j'ai la crève

On ne dira pas : Elles sont nazes tes blagues
Mais : ah, je sais pas comment tu fais pour les retenir

:arf::arf:
la suite plus tard :cool:
 
Yiyuan

Yiyuan

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On ne dira pas : T'as une gueule de balai à chiottes
Mais : Toi, t'es quelqu'un qui va au fond des choses

On ne dira pas : C'est un gros thon ta femme
Mais : J'suis sûr que t'es un gars hyper tolérant

:arf:
 
Dui ni shuo de dui

Dui ni shuo de dui

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Que ce soit en couple ou avec vos copains de travail, le savoir parler diplomatiquement,
avec tact, est primordial.

Petits conseils...

On ne dira pas : Merde, voila l'autre con!
Mais : J'te fais pas la bise, j'ai la crève

On ne dira pas : Elles sont nazes tes blagues
Mais : ah, je sais pas comment tu fais pour les retenir

:arf::arf:
la suite plus tard :cool:
On ne dira pas : T'as une gueule de balai à chiottes
Mais : Toi, t'es quelqu'un qui va au fond des choses

On ne dira pas : C'est un gros thon ta femme
Mais : J'suis sûr que t'es un gars hyper tolérant

:arf:

Je sais pas comment tu fais pour retenir toutes ces blagues.
 
Orang Malang

Orang Malang

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Très bon celui-là ...

Lien Youtube ...

 
Cyril.G

Cyril.G

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> > Virginie, au prof de maths jeune et plutôt beau gosse :
> > "Monsieur, vous me trouvez comment?",
> >- "Pardon ?"
> > - "Est-ce que vous me trouvez belle ?
> >- Dites-le, n'ayez pas honte ...",
> > "Oui Virginie, tu es belle comme une sirène ... Moitié femme, moitié thon ....."
 
Orang Malang

Orang Malang

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Capitalism Explained.

TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM:
You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.

AMERICAN CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company. The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States, leaving you with nine cows. No balance sheet provided with the release. The public buys your bull.

AUSTRALIAN CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when the cow drops dead.

FRENCH CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.

JAPANESE CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create clever cow cartoon images called Cowkimon and market them worldwide.

GERMAN CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat only once a month, and milk themselves.

BRITISH CAPITALISM: You have two cows. Both are mad.

CANADIAN CAPITALISM: You have two cows. Come to think of it, they look more like a pair of moose - in fact, yes they are. One speaks French, one speaks English. One fights to create a new country, the other won't let it. They both play ice hockey rather well.

ITALIAN CAPITALISM: You have two cows, but you don't know where they are. You break for lunch.

RUSSIAN CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you have 12 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.

SWISS CAPITALISM: You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you. You charge an outrageous fee to others for storing them.

CHINESE CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim full employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest and detain without trial the journalist who reported the number of cows.

NEW ZEALAND CAPITALISM: You have two cows. That one on the left is kinda cute...
 
Yiyuan

Yiyuan

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Pourquoi c'est merveilleux d'êre un homme

Les conversations au téléhone durent 30 secondes.

Tu connais plein de choses sur les avions, les voitures et les motos.

Tes vieux potes s'en fichent si tu as gagn?ou perdu du poids.

Tous tes orgasmes sont vrais.

:arf::arf:
 
Yiyuan

Yiyuan

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Tu ne dois pas trimballer partout un sac plein de conneries.

Tu gardes ton nom de famille.

Quand on critique ton travail, tu ne dois pas penser que tous te détestent secrétement.

Tu peux te doucher et te préparer en 10 minutes.
:arf::arf:
 
Yiyuan

Yiyuan

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Tes sous-vétements coûtent 60 F le pack de trois.

Aucun de tes collégues de travail n'est capable de te faire pleurer.

Tu ne dois pas te raser des pieds au cou.

Si tu as 34 ans et que tu es célibataire, tout le monde s'en fout!

Tu peux même êre Président !!

:arf::arf:
 
mahu

mahu

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phitheb

phitheb

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Capitalism Explained.

TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM:
You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.

AMERICAN CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company. The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States, leaving you with nine cows. No balance sheet provided with the release. The public buys your bull.

AUSTRALIAN CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when the cow drops dead.

FRENCH CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.

JAPANESE CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create clever cow cartoon images called Cowkimon and market them worldwide.

GERMAN CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat only once a month, and milk themselves.

BRITISH CAPITALISM: You have two cows. Both are mad.

CANADIAN CAPITALISM: You have two cows. Come to think of it, they look more like a pair of moose - in fact, yes they are. One speaks French, one speaks English. One fights to create a new country, the other won't let it. They both play ice hockey rather well.

ITALIAN CAPITALISM: You have two cows, but you don't know where they are. You break for lunch.

RUSSIAN CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you have 12 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.

SWISS CAPITALISM: You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you. You charge an outrageous fee to others for storing them.

CHINESE CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim full employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest and detain without trial the journalist who reported the number of cows.

NEW ZEALAND CAPITALISM: You have two cows. That one on the left is kinda cute...
excellent!