Un post trouvé sur un blog, à méditer...
Je le copie-colle ci-dessous, mais le lien original est là
---------------
Expats In China Don’t Need To Make Chinese Friends
If you’re an expat in China, how many local Chinese friends do you honestly have?
I’m not talking about your co-worker or the neighbor you might occasionally wave “hello” to. Moreover, I’m definitely not talking about that one Chinese person you keep on your phone whenever you need help Lien retiré.
I’m talking about a real friend, someone you genuinely respect and regard as your equal. This is someone you talk with and listen to, not someone you talk to and get answers from. You don’t just share common interests, you pursue these interests together. I’m talking about that person whom you like, associate with, or even envy because of who they are and not what they can do for you. Someone you’d invite to your wedding and seat them near the front because you’d actually care to talk to them on your big day.
How many do you have?
If I told you exotic Chinese bed-buddies, mistresses, girlfriends, or wives don’t count, how many then?
How often do you guys hang out?
Relative to how often you hang out with those of your own “kind”?
I see a lot of foreigners in China who more or less only surround themselves with other foreigners. This is particularly true when you go out for a night on the town, where the closest thing to cross-cultural socializing is usually foreign men hitting on, er, “upwardly aspirational” Chinese girls. I’m not just talking about white men either.
Oh, I know foreigners and local Chinese tend to gravitate towards different places when it comes to nightlife and socializing. I know much of it has to do with differences in what they can afford and what sort of social environment they prefer. I know there are plenty of other reasons as well, and plenty of exceptions too.
But just how well are you integrating into this country and the people of this society? Just how well are you identifying with them and understanding them, as people who despite such extreme differences in background and upbringing, still feel the same basic emotions? Or are you separate and removed from them? Isolated? Do you see them as people you can learn from or people who should learn from you? Are they background noise to you? Obstacles in your way? The uncouth natives that would be too politically incorrect to wish they were either more like you or just weren’t there?
Yes, it is true, the Chinese diaspora doesn’t do a good job of integrating with their adopted countries either, shacking themselves up in their Chinese communities and surrounding themselves with other Chinese immigrants so they can all speak Chinese with each other. Yes, that’s pretty much true for many expats or immigrants of any ethnic group. So, hey, what’s wrong with Westerners doing likewise, socializing and fraternizing with only the people they most comfortably identify and can communicate with? Why should you break your comfort zone just because you’re in China? What makes the Chinese people so much more deserving of you going out of your way bridging culture and language gaps in hopes of establishing more meaningful friendships?
Absolutely nothing.
You don’t have to and there’s no real objective reason you should. There’s just a lot of other people with their own values and interests telling you to be more like them. The truth is that it is your life and your choice. You may, however, want to reflect upon what your original goals were for coming to China in the first place. You may want to ask yourself whether your lifestyle decisions are helping you reach those goals. Are you satisfied with your life here in China? Are you happy? If you’re not, why are you still here?
You should only do what matters to you. Others will just have to accept what matters to you based upon what you do.
Je le copie-colle ci-dessous, mais le lien original est là
---------------
Expats In China Don’t Need To Make Chinese Friends
If you’re an expat in China, how many local Chinese friends do you honestly have?
I’m not talking about your co-worker or the neighbor you might occasionally wave “hello” to. Moreover, I’m definitely not talking about that one Chinese person you keep on your phone whenever you need help Lien retiré.
I’m talking about a real friend, someone you genuinely respect and regard as your equal. This is someone you talk with and listen to, not someone you talk to and get answers from. You don’t just share common interests, you pursue these interests together. I’m talking about that person whom you like, associate with, or even envy because of who they are and not what they can do for you. Someone you’d invite to your wedding and seat them near the front because you’d actually care to talk to them on your big day.
How many do you have?
If I told you exotic Chinese bed-buddies, mistresses, girlfriends, or wives don’t count, how many then?
How often do you guys hang out?
Relative to how often you hang out with those of your own “kind”?
I see a lot of foreigners in China who more or less only surround themselves with other foreigners. This is particularly true when you go out for a night on the town, where the closest thing to cross-cultural socializing is usually foreign men hitting on, er, “upwardly aspirational” Chinese girls. I’m not just talking about white men either.
Oh, I know foreigners and local Chinese tend to gravitate towards different places when it comes to nightlife and socializing. I know much of it has to do with differences in what they can afford and what sort of social environment they prefer. I know there are plenty of other reasons as well, and plenty of exceptions too.
But just how well are you integrating into this country and the people of this society? Just how well are you identifying with them and understanding them, as people who despite such extreme differences in background and upbringing, still feel the same basic emotions? Or are you separate and removed from them? Isolated? Do you see them as people you can learn from or people who should learn from you? Are they background noise to you? Obstacles in your way? The uncouth natives that would be too politically incorrect to wish they were either more like you or just weren’t there?
Yes, it is true, the Chinese diaspora doesn’t do a good job of integrating with their adopted countries either, shacking themselves up in their Chinese communities and surrounding themselves with other Chinese immigrants so they can all speak Chinese with each other. Yes, that’s pretty much true for many expats or immigrants of any ethnic group. So, hey, what’s wrong with Westerners doing likewise, socializing and fraternizing with only the people they most comfortably identify and can communicate with? Why should you break your comfort zone just because you’re in China? What makes the Chinese people so much more deserving of you going out of your way bridging culture and language gaps in hopes of establishing more meaningful friendships?
Absolutely nothing.
You don’t have to and there’s no real objective reason you should. There’s just a lot of other people with their own values and interests telling you to be more like them. The truth is that it is your life and your choice. You may, however, want to reflect upon what your original goals were for coming to China in the first place. You may want to ask yourself whether your lifestyle decisions are helping you reach those goals. Are you satisfied with your life here in China? Are you happy? If you’re not, why are you still here?
You should only do what matters to you. Others will just have to accept what matters to you based upon what you do.
), mais malheureusement, la plupart des francais interessants sont deja reparti vers d'autres horizons.
